How to Handle the Family Ties that Bind
Friday, February 7th, 2020There are potentially dozens of reasons to select a real estate agent. Having one that also happens to be a friend, neighbour or family member is not an uncommon occurrence and that’s why many consumers feel the pressure to choose someone they know.
But many real estate gurus say that’s unwise for a number of reasons. Disagreements could put an end to a valued friendship or perhaps your friend/agent will begin to resent you because of the discount or kick back you’ve requested on their commission. Another possibility is that your agent doesn’t view you as seriously as his other clients and may put in less time house hunting or drumming up buyers. They also may have a more difficult time telling you the truth — that your house isn’t worth what you think it is, for instance. Finally, if you get to a point where it’s time to break up with your realtor/friend how do you do that without any hard feelings?
But for those who feel compelled to retain an agent with whom they’re already comfortable, what happens when you have competing realtors in your life? How do you choose one over the other without offending the unsuccessful candidate? How do you break the news to Cousin Bernie that you’ve decided to go with your sister-in-law Alice?
Let’s look at ways to break it to them gently:
Fictionalize it — You could start by lying. While that’s not always the recommended course of action, sometimes a little white lie is your best line of defense. Imagine telling your neighbour/realtor that you’ve decided to retain your nephew, a rookie real estate agent, due to the fact that your neighbour’s breath could topple the C.N. Tower. Better to bow out gracefully with a wee fib. In this instance, you could take advantage of your nephew’s inexperience by claiming that you’re trying to help out your relative and that’s why you decided to hire him.
Blame your spouse — This strategy is a classic for good reason. By pointing a finger at your better half, you, in effect, tell people that you are being held hostage based on your partner’s choice, however different it may be than yours. The beauty of this game plan is that you end up looking like the sympathetic supporter, unlike your spouse, who is likely viewed as something of a villain.
Be Honest Abe — The truth can hurt but it also sets you free. If you have the strength of character to weather chilly responses and cold shoulders, this is likely a good pick for you. You never have to look over your shoulder or struggle and squirm to remember your white lie when you invariably run into your Aunt Maude at Thanksgiving dinner. This option is a tough one but it’s worth it given the peace of mind it leaves you with.
Pick a Pro over Blood — Because home buying is such an emotionally charged transaction involving big, life-changing amounts of money, the process can be highly volatile and there is little room for mistakes. Giving your best friend’s daughter a break will earn you brownie points for sure, but may not be in your best interest in the long run. Same for hiring a friend or relative who doesn’t work relatively close to your area. Regardless of the relationship, you need a professional who lives, eats and breathes real estate and understands the local market, including everything from schools and shops to local issues and housing inventory.