There are potentially dozens of reasons to select a real estate agent. Having one that also happens to be a friend, neighbour or family member is not an uncommon occurrence and that’s why many consumers feel the pressure to choose someone they know.

But many real estate gurus say that’s unwise for a number of reasons. Disagreements could put an end to a valued friendship or perhaps your friend/agent will begin to resent you because of the discount or kick back you’ve requested on their commission. Another possibility is that your agent doesn’t view you as seriously as his other clients and may put in less time house hunting or drumming up buyers. They also may have a more difficult time telling you the truth — that your house isn’t worth what you think it is, for instance. Finally, if you get to a point where it’s time to break up with your realtor/friend how do you do that without any hard feelings?

But for those who feel compelled to retain an agent with whom they’re already comfortable, what happens when you have competing realtors in your life? How do you choose one over the other without offending the unsuccessful candidate? How do you break the news to Cousin Bernie that you’ve decided to go with your sister-in-law Alice?

Let’s look at ways to break it to them gently:

Fictionalize it — You could start by lying. While that’s not always the recommended course of action, sometimes a little white lie is your best line of defense. Imagine telling your neighbour/realtor that you’ve decided to retain your nephew, a rookie real estate agent, due to the fact that your neighbour’s breath could topple the C.N. Tower. Better to bow out gracefully with a wee fib. In this instance, you could take advantage of your nephew’s inexperience by claiming that you’re trying to help out your relative and that’s why you decided to hire him.

Blame your spouse — This strategy is a classic for good reason. By pointing a finger at your better half, you, in effect, tell people that you are being held hostage based on your partner’s choice, however different it may be than yours. The beauty of this game plan is that you end up looking like the sympathetic supporter, unlike your spouse, who is likely viewed as something of a villain.

Be Honest Abe — The truth can hurt but it also sets you free. If you have the strength of character to weather chilly responses and cold shoulders, this is likely a good pick for you. You never have to look over your shoulder or struggle and squirm to remember your white lie when you invariably run into your Aunt Maude at Thanksgiving dinner. This option is a tough one but it’s worth it given the peace of mind it leaves you with.

Pick a Pro over Blood — Because home buying is such an emotionally charged transaction involving big, life-changing amounts of money, the process can be highly volatile and there is little room for mistakes. Giving your best friend’s daughter a break will earn you brownie points for sure, but may not be in your best interest in the long run. Same for hiring a friend or relative who doesn’t work relatively close to your area. Regardless of the relationship, you need a professional who lives, eats and breathes real estate and understands the local market, including everything from schools and shops to local issues and housing inventory.

When you’re buying an $800,000 house, the $500 you drop on a home inspection is a relatively small price to pay to ensure that everything is as it should be.

But bear in mind that that a home inspector doesn’t have x-ray vision. So often they may miss the fact that the basement leaks during heavy downpours especially if their assessment takes place on a clear day. Let’s face it, given that the examination is based on what you can see, even the best inspector is bound to miss potential problems.

For my money, I prefer a Seller Property Information Statement. Simply put, this is a disclosure from the seller that spells out all the issues – both good and bad – that they know to happen in their home. If you think about it, doesn’t it make more sense to have someone who’s lived in the house for years disclose problems or potential problems as opposed to someone who’s looked at it for two or three hours?

The Seller Property Information Statement, otherwise known as SPIS, is optional. It’s been said buyers love them, sellers fear them and lawyers say no to them. In Canada, since the inception of the SPIS form practice in 1997, there have been over 230 court cases.

Sellers are not required to fill them out, but I encourage my clients to do so in most instances. My thinking is it protects vendors from down-the-road lawsuits if they’re being honest and forthright. After a property sells and changes hands, the SPIS protects the seller should something occur at that point that the new owner might try to pin on the seller. By filling out a SPIS it also demonstrates to buyers that the seller has integrity and nothing to hide as they are willing to disclose defects or issues.

The SPIS is a two-page document that covers questions regarding zoning, taxes and encroachments. Queries are asked about soil contamination, flooding, oil tanks and grow houses. Other questions focus on moisture problems, types of insulation and renovations or addition made to the house.

I’m not saying to disregard home inspections. But if you know houses and have bought and sold a few in your time, you can probably uncover the same that a home inspector would so save the $400 to $600 inspection fee for a rainy day.

Home inspectors are especially useful for first-time home buyers, who know little about the process. A home inspection can help calm the nerves of a buyer who has no idea what shape the roof is in, where the water shutoff is or how to replace a furnace filter.